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Being in a committed relationship comes with ups and downs. You’re navigating daily life with your partner, experiencing the best moments and the worst in life. Promotions and struggles at work, fights and celebrations with loved ones, and everything in between come with the territory.
When times are particularly tough — for one or both of you — it puts a strain on the relationship. You’re working through intense feelings and how to communicate when life is anything but calm. It’s understandably harder than when everything is sunshine and rainbows, but that doesn’t mean it’s insurmountable. You just need to understand how to communicate. Here are a few ways to do just that.
Be Thoughtful
It’s easy, and often necessary, to focus on necessities when you and your partner are going through a tough time. You want to ensure your home is livable, food is on the table, and work is done. But there’s something to be said about prioritizing thoughtfulness when life proves troublesome.
Your approach can be whatever works for your schedule and mental capacity at the moment. A handwritten card can be encouraging and show your partner you care. A bouquet of flowers just because may brighten their day and help make life feel lighter for a few minutes. Or, if you’re really short on time, prepackaged get well gifts are the perfect thoughtful treat when they’re feeling down.
These kind gestures are more than spending some money and time picking something out. They’re a token of encouragement, love, and appreciation for your partner. That can go a long way when times are tough.
Listen to One Another
When you’re going through a challenging time, it’s natural to vent. You and your partner may be on edge or more emotional, readily sharing your feelings. However, if you’re not careful, you may end up talking past each other rather than having a real conversation.
That’s not going to help you both get through the hard situation you’re in. Instead, focus on dedicating time for each of you to share your feelings while the other listens. The listening partner can offer support and input when requested, but their main job is to hear the other person out. Then switch roles to ensure both of you can share.
Dedicating time to listening to one another may feel unnecessary. But when you’re experiencing something challenging, it’s easy to forget the basics that make your relationship what it is. So, sit down together and actively listen as you get through challenges as a team.
Lean on Your Community
While your relationship is a central focus in your life, it’s not the only relationship you have. Your friends, family, and other loved ones each have roles in your lives too. So, lean on them for love and support during tough times.
That may mean spending more time out of the house doing things with loved ones. Or it could be asking for help to ensure you’re eating enough. Really, it can be any help, love, or support that you need during this time.
Of course, you can and should rely on your partner for support. But leaning on your community and taking them up on their offers to help is never a bad thing. It may even help you and your partner better navigate the road ahead. You’ll both have less baggage and burden to carry.
Cut Each Other Slack
People experience grief, trauma, and intense emotions in their own ways. Some people will cry endlessly and never want to get out of bed. Others will act as if nothing is wrong. Still others find themselves somewhere in the middle or wavering between the two. Naturally, any of these responses prove challenging for a couple.
Whether you’re both going through a challenge or it’s just one of you, try and give each other grace. If you snap at each other and end up in a screaming match, it doesn’t help anyone heal or cope. Take a second when feathers get ruffled to breathe before responding, and if situations escalate, be quick to apologize and forgive.
No matter what the challenge is — personal, work-related, or otherwise — there’s a higher likelihood you’ll be on edge. That can make something simple like forgetting to get an ingredient at the grocery store feel like a much bigger deal. Instead of blowing up at each other, focus on being a team and working together. You’re stronger as a pair, so keep that mindset handy as you navigate strife.
Enlist Professional Help
Healing journeys are rarely a straight line. They have ups, downs, and plateaus that come and go at will. It’s only natural that you and your partner may struggle more at certain times than others. So, if you hit a wall with communication or any other aspect of healing, professional help may be just what you need.
A couple’s counselor or psychologist will be trained to navigate interpersonal relationship struggles with you. They can advise on how to overcome conflict, manage your mental health, and make your relationship as healthy as possible. These conversations aren’t easy, but they prove especially beneficial when one or both of you are going through it.
Plus, a professional can work with you on more than just your present challenges. They can discuss what to do when times get tough again or if feelings from your current situation recur. They can share tips, tricks, and strategies to help you work together as a couple for years to come. And that can leave a positive mark on even the healthiest of partnerships.
A Forever Kind of Love
Relationships that go the distance experience all that life has to offer, good and bad. When times are good, it’s easy to support and love one another with healthy communication. But when times get tough, it’s equally difficult to prioritize the actions that make your relationship strong. Luckily, with intentional effort, you and your partner can navigate the challenges as a team. And you’ll end up stronger than ever.